Hillary, John, Rudy and Mike

I'm currently suffering from Electile Dysfunction- none of the Presidential candidates excite me. Maybe its because all the candidates have the same thing.

Hillary Clinton has them. John Edwards has them. Rudy Giuliani has them. Mike Huckabee has them. John McCain, Barak Obama, Ron Paul and Mitt Romney have them. All the candidates have them- ISSUES. Go to any candidate's website and you'll find a page (usually on a tab with a drop down menu) called ISSUES.

I read the ISSUES pages of three candidates last Wednesday, and it got me thinking. Once upon a time, political candidates had things called PLATFORMS.

I like PLATFORMS. They're useful. PLATFORMS can be built upon. They elevate, they can be expanded- a PLATFORM over a body of water or a gap is called a BRIDGE. They can be crossed and they can be joined. A PLATFORM can be defended. People can come together on a PLATFORM. People can come together to build a PLATFORM.

ISSUES, on the other hand, are problems, controversies, arguments. They're baggage, they weigh you down. An ISSUE over a body of water or a gap is still an ISSUE.

I just realized why candidates prefer ISSUES to PLATFORMS: PLATFORMS are made of PLANKS, and bad politicians don't want to be treated like bad pirates and be made to walk the PLANK!