Tough Questions

I was talking with a friend on Sunday evening, and she asked where I saw my character at the age of 40. I didn't have an answer- and, consulting said character, neither does she. Ilona is 19 and she lives by the sword in Seventh Sea (currently in a volcano in Castille). I know that she has some plans for the future, some of them are non-violent, even! She has a lover that she'd like to marry, maybe have children with, he can mind them while she's off adventuring for her secret society (DKR). She can't conceive of being 40. It's too far away, just over her whole lifetime away. As her player, I can't see her at 40- she's too passionate and driven, in love with the sword and I can't imagine her dying a natural death. She's too strong to die in childbirth, she knows too many doctors and surgeons. She'll die taking out a villain who's way above her level, or fighting against bug monsters from beyond space and time, or an evil Prince (take your pick), or a Syrneth artifact or something. Another reason I can't see her at 40 is that I've been playing this character since 2003 (maybe '02, but I have proof of '03) and the story has only progressed 5 months! It feels like it should have been longer, but my friend is the keeper of the calendar, and she knows.

I have a lot invested in Ilona- I could post all about her, but won't. When my friend asked me about Ilona, I kind of heard, "Where do you see yourself at 40?" That's a pressing question for me at 39... and I'm having a very hard time coming up with an answer that I like. October 3 is the big day, and it's coming faster than I'm ready for. I don't feel 39. I feel 16, but with drinking privileges. The strange thing is that I remember being more adult and responsible back when I was 16 than I am now. I remember it felt pretty good, but I didn't have as much fun back then. Quantitatively, that is, I'm not ready to pass a qualitative judgment on that, yet. Fun is addictive, but that's another posting.

Beginning

This blank page is rather intimidating. All the ideas in my head want to come out, all at the same time, but of course, they refuse to line up in an orderly fashion. There are the story fragments, and the rants, and the reviews and critiques. All these shiny, new ideas wanting the limelight, darting to the forefront of my mind the moment another idea begins to assert itself. The larger the empty space, the harder it is to fill it.

For those who don't speak Russian and Spanish, the title of my blog translates to Hello friends. I can't claim to be fluent in either language, but I enjoyed studying both of them, and as many of my friends will tell you, if I forget a word in one language (including English) I'll substitute another freely. It's usually enough to jog my memory, so I can translate for anyone who didn't understand me, but it's usually obvious what I was trying to say. So, the title is a joke to share with my friends.

This page is no longer so blank, and the words are flowing more easily. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out.