Annoyances

Don't you hate it when you do something that you really hate doing, and then you find out that it's good for you, and you don't hate it as much as you thought you did? I do. I was challenged to do "Morning Pages," an exercise from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way and I hate doing them. It takes me about an hour to do 3 8.5 x 11 pages longhand. I am entirely unwilling to get up early to do them, so that means that I have to find time to fit them in. Or, just back up my day an hour, which has other repercussions... So, I've been doing this dreaded task for a while and I just whine, but it feels good. I'm getting more work done after the daily gripe. It's too bad I don't gripe less after the exercise, but that's so unlikely as to be ridiculous. I do get some insights about a page and a half into it, so it works. So I do them. Annoying, huh?

A Civic Education

Yesterday I attended my first political rally and protest in Washington, DC; despite having lived in the general area for all but three years of my life. I was at the Gathering of Eagles rally and their counter-protest. I heard a lot of rhetoric, many moving stories of parents who had lost children in Iraq and Afghanistan, and many times over the message that victory is the only acceptable answer to the war on terror.

I'm a very sentimental person. I cried through almost the entire rally. For the inspiring stories of personal courage, and the tragic stories of loss of life. I cried as the crowd chanted U-S-A. Then, I moved to the parade route on Pennsylvania Avenue, and took up a spot by the barricade and waited for the anti-war protesters to pass. I had been given an American flag by one of the Eagles, and I was there to show my support to the troops and their leaders, my leaders. I admit, that I was swayed by some of the rhetoric- I had an opportunity to hold a sign that read "Welcome Bin Laden Fan Club" and took it. No one asked me why, I'm not sure how many on my side cared why, but none of the people with the anti-war protest asked why. I had an answer to the unasked "Why?"

"If you aren't a fan of Bin Laden and al-Qaida, why do you do things that support that cause and undermine America's cause?"

I was flipped the bird, I was called names, yes, it's unpleasant but I'm a big girl. I didn't call names back. I didn't flip anyone off. One of the protesters defaced my sign with a sticker. It was a postal address label that said, "I AM A HOMO RIGHT WING PIECE OF SHIT". On one hand, I was delighted. I'd obviously struck a nerve. On the other hand, I am not fecal matter. I am Homo sapiens sapiens, but I am not a lesbian. I have friends who are lesbians, I have friends who are bisexual and I have a friend who is transgender. The longer I have to think about the I AM A HOMO part of that sticker, the angrier I become. Not at the accusation that I may be homosexual. But that someone marching with the liberals, who are "supposed" to be friendly to homosexuals, and are frequently heard speaking out against and defining "hate speech," using it.

Another thing that struck me was this: many of the male anti-war protesters wore bandannas over their faces, and I had to wonder why. I have since wondered if that was strictly legal, but that's beside the point. Why show up if you don't believe in your cause? This is the United States of America, you have the right to assemble peaceably, you may express your opinion openly- without fear of reprisal by the government. If you fear to be associated with a particular cause, there's a simple solution: don't join it.

I would like to exhort EVERYONE with an opinion, no matter what it may be: when you are out in public, protesting, counter-protesting, whatever: mind your manners. There's no reason to call names, there's no reason to use foul language, and everyone keep your hands to yourself and on your own property. Oh, and do please express your opinion. That's a big part of what makes the United States of America the greatest country in the world.

Is it July, yet?

So, I just finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and my faith in Snape- waivers.

I have complete faith in Dumbledore. I believed with every fibre of my being that Snape was on the side of the angels right up until chapter 27.

I can come up with reasons that almost completely convince me that Snape is a good guy, even now. But he Stupify-ed Flitwick. Or did he? That was obvious to Hermione and Luna in hindsight; however, we never read a verification from our favourite charms teacher... so, maybe, Snape is on the side of the angels.

But Dumbledore was pleading. Didn't he have to press Harry to remember his oath all through the last couple of chapters? If Snape is on the side of the angels, he's got a wandless Dumbledore to back him on the roof, and a bunch of Death Eaters around him who think he's on their side. Snape is the Order's best source of information on the doings of Voldemort and the Death Eaters, not compromising his cover is of extreme importance. If he's on the side of the angels, is he going to want to keep Draco Malfoy innocent more than provide the help he vowed to give? I have no difficulty believing that Draco's innocence is more important to Dumbledore than his own life- Dumbledore is a hero. Dumbledore may have been pleading with Snape to preserve Draco's innocence, asking him to take on another measure of guilt upon himself. And that expression of loathing and hatred on Snape's face? I'd loathe that action, and I might even spare a touch of hatred for someone asking me to do that.

The only two characters I can think of who Rowling has misled us with (I do not count Barty Crouch posing as Moody, that is the entire point of the Polyjuice Potion) are Gilderoy Lockhart, but his artificiality is apparent from the get go; and Percy Weasley, who is rules-bound from the beginning and shown to be two-faced as early as the fourth book. Otherwise, good guys are good, bad guys are bad and people are people. Snape would be the third, either way. Either he's a real jerk who is on the side of the angels, or he's a bad guy who's able to fool the good guys (including the REAL Mad Eye Moody).

My mind is not made up, but I'll learn the truth this July. I'm hoping that there will be another party at my bookstore. My best friend, Erin, and I went to the one for the release of book six and we had a great time (we were in the first or second group to get books).

Three remarkable kids

I was introduced to three remarkable kids several years back, by my best friend, Erin. Their names are Harry, Ron and Hermione, and anyone who has read J.K. Rowling's Hogwarts series knows these kids.

Erin received book three, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, from another friend for her birthday. She had an hour and a half commute to work, so she read it and then she passed it along to me with the comment, "These kids rule the world!" I had a bit of a commute myself, so I read the book and was immediately enchanted. I went off and got books one and two, to fill myself in on the doings of these children, got the 1-4 box set and books five and six when they came out.

I really enjoyed the books, I love the characters I'm supposed to love, I hate the characters I'm supposed to hate (I have to remind myself that I am morally opposed to relieving someone of their soul and that Dolores Umbridge is a fictional character, because if anyone deserves a Dementor's kiss, it's that 817c#), and until book six I was pretty fond of Snape. I trusted him unquestioningly. Then, book six came out, and - my faith wavered. I didn't want him to do it. I didn't want Draco to do it either, I didn't want anyone to. I know I'll learn the truth this July.

I've never reread book six. It was too painful. But to get ready for July, I'm rereading the series. I've read the first five, I'm starting book six tomorrow, and I'm confident that Snape is on the side of the angels. I'll revisit this after I've reread book six.

Like riding a bicycle...

So, back when I was 26 years younger, I got a lovely Fuji Gran Tourer bicycle. Burgundy with French handlebars and 12 speeds, I loved riding it for 3-5 years, then other interests began taking over, and my best friend moved to another city and biking to see her was no longer an option. I kept my bike, refusing to sell it when my folks sold theirs, I couldn't imagine wanting any other bike.

Fast forward 21 years... I house/dog sat for a friend and, lacking a car, I figured I'd ride my bike. But first, I needed to get it serviced. 2 new tires and tubes and a good lube, and she was ready to go. I got on, and realized that 21 years is a long time. No, you don't forget how to ride a bike, the old saw is true, but you sure don't get right back into the swing of things! I could barely control that bike, I'd forgotten the trick of balance.

So, I get the bike home, and as I'm not sure of the local laws, I get a helmet and I get on, just to ride around the block, nothing too ambitious. I didn't make it. I didn't crash (barely) but I could barely steer and had to walk my bike down the sidewalk, because my balance was so bad, I couldn't stay on the sidewalk. That was really demoralizing. So, the next chance I got- I bought gloves, knee and elbow pads, and got back on the next day.

I don't know if it was the practice or the confidence that I was less likely to die of road rash, but I made it all the way around my block, including the section on the sidewalk. I even managed not to crash when my pedal scraped the curb, downhill! Okay, so I'm disgusted at how hard I'm finding it to ride my bike, but I'm really enjoying relearning it. I'll keep using my crash pads until I'm really confident, but I am getting back into it, and I still love my bike.

Tough Questions

I was talking with a friend on Sunday evening, and she asked where I saw my character at the age of 40. I didn't have an answer- and, consulting said character, neither does she. Ilona is 19 and she lives by the sword in Seventh Sea (currently in a volcano in Castille). I know that she has some plans for the future, some of them are non-violent, even! She has a lover that she'd like to marry, maybe have children with, he can mind them while she's off adventuring for her secret society (DKR). She can't conceive of being 40. It's too far away, just over her whole lifetime away. As her player, I can't see her at 40- she's too passionate and driven, in love with the sword and I can't imagine her dying a natural death. She's too strong to die in childbirth, she knows too many doctors and surgeons. She'll die taking out a villain who's way above her level, or fighting against bug monsters from beyond space and time, or an evil Prince (take your pick), or a Syrneth artifact or something. Another reason I can't see her at 40 is that I've been playing this character since 2003 (maybe '02, but I have proof of '03) and the story has only progressed 5 months! It feels like it should have been longer, but my friend is the keeper of the calendar, and she knows.

I have a lot invested in Ilona- I could post all about her, but won't. When my friend asked me about Ilona, I kind of heard, "Where do you see yourself at 40?" That's a pressing question for me at 39... and I'm having a very hard time coming up with an answer that I like. October 3 is the big day, and it's coming faster than I'm ready for. I don't feel 39. I feel 16, but with drinking privileges. The strange thing is that I remember being more adult and responsible back when I was 16 than I am now. I remember it felt pretty good, but I didn't have as much fun back then. Quantitatively, that is, I'm not ready to pass a qualitative judgment on that, yet. Fun is addictive, but that's another posting.

Beginning

This blank page is rather intimidating. All the ideas in my head want to come out, all at the same time, but of course, they refuse to line up in an orderly fashion. There are the story fragments, and the rants, and the reviews and critiques. All these shiny, new ideas wanting the limelight, darting to the forefront of my mind the moment another idea begins to assert itself. The larger the empty space, the harder it is to fill it.

For those who don't speak Russian and Spanish, the title of my blog translates to Hello friends. I can't claim to be fluent in either language, but I enjoyed studying both of them, and as many of my friends will tell you, if I forget a word in one language (including English) I'll substitute another freely. It's usually enough to jog my memory, so I can translate for anyone who didn't understand me, but it's usually obvious what I was trying to say. So, the title is a joke to share with my friends.

This page is no longer so blank, and the words are flowing more easily. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out.